Priesthood and Gender Issues

On Sunday, Sacrament Meeting was all about Priesthood.  I told my husband thank goodness it wasn't the previous week because I would have just stood up in Sunday School, said "Ditto" and instructed everyone to talk amongst themselves for an hour.  Also, surely the Youth are sick and tired of The Priesthood by now.

Anyway, the final speaker was a guy I like a lot, and have worked with in the Youth program before.   He's married with 3 kids and always seemed to be unconcerned with gender issues, and deferential to my years of experience in YW when he first got called to YM.

However, at the tail end of his talk, he said, "Some people have asked me why women in our church don't have the Priesthood."

'Oh no...", I thought.

My husband and I glanced at each other and husband whispered to me, "Why would he even go there?"

He proceeded to then talk about different roles and how his wife is a better nurturer than him, etc., same old, same old.

I said to husband, "And he's not doing a particularly good job with it..."

We both sat there, a bit uncomfortable.  Thankfully, he finished quickly.

But seriously, why would he go there?  For the people in the ward who are content with women not having the Priesthood, it didn't do anything except confirm their own feelings.  For those of us who are not so content, it was just annoying, patronizing, frustrating, [fill in your own adjective]. 

It's not a satisfying answer to say men and women have different roles.  OK, that's fine, but the problem is, women have no real leadership roles.  Women have no real say in the way the Church is run.  I don't need to be a Prophet(ess), but I would like to know that a woman could.  Just like I don't need to be President of the United States, but I guarantee I will probably shed a tear when a woman is finally elected to that office (no matter how much I gripe about what she does or doesn't do in the following 4 years).

It's not about power, it's about women's voices being heard.  Really heard.  Without the knowledge that any decision made by a woman could be trumped in 5 seconds by a man in a higher position than her because he has the Priesthood.

A lot of people, a lot of liberal people even, will say we need to wait and figure out what Priestesshood means before bestowing it upon women.  That it's not useful to give women a male Priesthood.  While that may be true, it's not my biggest concern.  My biggest concern is equality.  As long as women do not have the Priesthood, institutional gender inequality will be a part of the Church at its most basic level.

In other religions male and female pastors and priests do not minister in the same exact ways.  (For that matter, 2 individual people of the same gender do not minister in the same way.)  I'm sure there were some growing pains in those churches when women were first ordained, and there probably still are in more conservative circles.  But the point is, all opportunities are open to women in those churches.  I want a church where I am equal, not separate but equal.  I'm so tired of the linguistic gymnastics that are required to explain (not very well) why "preside" doesn't really mean "preside".  Somehow saying a man presides, or a man is the head of the household, doesn't mean the man has the final say and the man is in control?

I call BS.  That's exactly what it means.  And some bad men have taken that so seriously that they have become domineering tyrants with their Priesthood.

I realize those men are not using their Priesthood correctly, but when I have enlightened female friends of mine getting involved with good Mormon boys who DO think that Priesthood means they are in control, even here in the liberal northeast, then I start believing those sorts of power grabs and unequal relationships are more common than I think.

In our Church we're taught that men have the Priesthood and women do not.  Men preside and women do not.  Men can be prophets and women cannot (except, you know there were prophetesses in the Bible, right?). 

I've noticed the inequality more and more as I progress in my career.  In the real world, men and women are finding a way to treat each other as equals.  There is still a long way to go and things are by no means perfect, but I am respected for my work and my intellect regardless of my gender.  I have been in rooms where I am the only woman or one of a few women and have felt treated as an equal.  If I work hard enough, I could be a Partner, a CEO, a President.  The glass ceiling exists, but at least it's not institutionally enforced like it is in the Church.

I fully admit I don't know what Priestesshood means.  Part of me thinks there shouldn't even be a delineation in duties, because it would be a way to throw the feminists a bone, but keep real power in the Priesthood, rather than in both the Priesthood and Priestesshood.  Like, for example, in this past General Conference.  Yes, 2 women prayed (whoopty doo.  Part of me marveled at how ridiculous it was that we were so excited that 2 women said a prayer in Conference).  But then a lot of the rest of Conference was spent telling the feminists to simmer down.

Yeah, that's how you lose people.  That's why the Church is hemorrhaging members, particularly young female members who have been raised in a post-feminist society where they can be whatever they want to be.  Except at Church.