Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Separate, But Equal

Now there's a loaded phrase, especially in the United States, fraught with hundreds of years of racial baggage.

I find myself using it a lot lately as I think about how it feels to be a woman in the Mormon Church.  My sister-in-law sent me Neylan McBaine's post about moderation that she wrote for Feminist Mormon Housewives.  My SIL told me it resonated with her, and that she really related to this more moderate way of thinking, which I completely understand.

I read through the post quickly yesterday, and I admit that this is not a thorough analysis, but rather my own initial reaction.  Neylan McBaine talks about sisterhood in beautiful ways, and her ideas of moderation do appeal to a part of me, but I am torn.  She makes so many good points in her writing, but I find myself thinking, "Yes, but...." when I read her words. 

Husband thinks it's dumb that we divide things by gender in the Church.  I actually really enjoy time with the sisters.  Relief Society was always one of the best parts of my singles wards.  I think having a space where Young Women can feel safe to share, without the tension of lots of male and female teenagers' hormones piled together, is a good thing. 
 
But right now I feel like there's a serious structural problem in the Church, based on the patriarchy.  When talks like "LDS Women Are Incredible" can still happen in 2011, and be considered an acceptable way to speak about over half of the membership of the Church, there's a problem.  I worry that if we keep things separate, if we create a very strong Relief Society, and bestow Priestesshood upon all women, it still won't be seen as equal.  Priestesshood will have lesser meaning than Priesthood and will still be subsumed somehow.  Women will lead the Relief Society, but men will still lead the Church.  I think men and women should lead the Church.
 
I would be thrilled to see a strong Relief Society, more in line with its original purpose.  A kingdom of priests like it was supposed to be.  A woman presiding at the head, through her Priestesshood.  That is a lovely vision.
 
I think Neylan McBaine's moderation is a good place to start. However, I fear that because of how the Church is now, settling for anything less than total equality in standing for women will doom us to a future of perpetual second-class status.  That's the problem with separate, but equal, versus just plain equal.