1st Complaint/Concern (or, I Must Be Doing Something Right)

I wrote about this a bit on one of my alterno-Mormon Facebook groups and got a lot of awesome feedback.  Moments like this make me truly love the internet and the connections I've made in so short a time with other Mormons who are struggling with official Church policy and history.  Also, I'm pretty sure Husband likes not having to listen to me go on and on about this stuff because he's 1 of only 2 people I can talk with about it.

So, as I wrote previously, last week I gave a lesson that wound up turning into a lively discussion about faith and doubt.   Friday morning I opened up my email at work to find the following email from a member of our Bishopric:

I took some time on this before coming to you.

I want both understand your perspective and elaborate further on what I shared in class on the topic of doubt. I was surprised that you responded that you disagreed with my comment. I probably didn't explain well.

What I said in class is that when speaking about doubt it is important to separate in our minds the concepts of being inquisitive and being doubtful. I paraphrased scripture "seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you" to emphasize the Lord's desire that we question and learn. I also said that faith and doubt are opposite to one another, and that we should not be doubtful, but only faithful and inquisitive.

Doubt is a natural part of our experience in life, but the gospel of Jesus Christ does not encourage us to doubt (or accept doubt). Please review the topic "doubt, doubtful" in the topical guide and take a sampling of some of the scriptures there. Note that the antonyms are "belief" and "faith" and the synonyms are "unbelief" and "unbelievers." In the scriptures you'll find that the Lord invited those He blessed to believe and not doubt. He invited those he taught to replace doubt with faith (which is why I commented that doubt and faith oppose one another). Think of what He said to doubting Thomas when he appeared to His disciples following His resurrection...

Additionally, we are not taught in the church to respond with doubt when we receive a blessing, follow leaders' counsel, pray for answers and guidance, study the scriptures, etc. We are taught to be faithful, believing, trusting, and hopeful.

Doubt is a frustration to progress and it is a tool of the adversary. He is the father of lies and seeks that we stumble and remain confused. Doubt is not an attitude of questioning to learn, it is questioning because of mistrust or confusion or sin. God has no part in doubt.

It is also important to recognize that we are learning line upon line. This requires patience that we do not know all things, like sister _________ commented. But which person will learn more quickly, he(she) who doubts because of what he(she) does not know, or he(she) who presses on in faith, believing that truth will eventually form a unified circle in his(her) mind? No matter who we are, doubts will come, but we must quickly replace them with faith or we shall stumble.

Doubt often implies mistrust. Heavenly Father does everything to inspire faith within us. All things in the gospel are set up so that we learn to whole heartedly trust in Him. He leads us along the way with blessings and enlightenment. The scriptures provide real answers to life's questions and trials. He reveals His will to all those who come unto Him with a broken heart and contrite spirit. His plan is to exalt us because of the love He has for us. Who is more deserving of unwavering faith and trust (James 1:5-6)?

You said you disagree with what I said. I've searched the scriptures carefully this week and I feel to stand by my comment.

Please make sure that teachings in gospel doctrine are supported by scripture and words of the prophets. There are many new converts and often we have investigators. You have a strong testimony and set a great example of faithfully seeking the Lord, but we have many who are tender and just starting out. I hope you can see the danger concluding that it is okay to doubt, which was the conclusion that I took away from the class.

Please don't take this as a personal attack. You are highly appreciated for your willing service and contribution. Your leadership in gospel doctrine has proven most effective and helpful in inspiring gospel learning.

Again, the sure and safe way is to support teachings with scripture and words of the prophets. My intent in approaching you is more out of concern for what our new and tender students are taking away from the class if too much time is spent on opinions.

Please forgive me if I'm coming off bold. I hope you know I love you and appreciate what you do. Gospel doctrine is not an easy class to lead, especially when students come unprepared and opinionated.

Thanks for considering my thoughts. Feel free to share your perspective and I'd be happy to meet with you to discuss further if you wish.

Best regards,

Good thing my boss was away and I didn't have too much to do because I was able to spend a little time crafting a response.  I understand what he's saying, of course, I just don't see it the same way he does.  I've known this guy for a few years, and he's nice, with the best of intentions, and gives his all to the ward.  He is excessively earnest.  I appreciated his hedging his comments by saying I shouldn't take it as a personal attack, and that he does want to understand my perspective.  I did not appreciate the implication that my methods might lead others astray.

I wrote something, sat on in for a little while, edited it, and wound up sending this toward the end of the day:

I knew you were not pleased by what I had to say in response to you. I'm sorry if my comment came off as harsh toward you, that wasn't my intention, though sometimes it's easier to be blunt with someone I'm more comfortable with. The reason why I couldn't just nod and agree with what you said is because I believe that doubt and faith can co-exist. I can tell you that they co-exist in me right at this moment, and I am pretty sure I am not alone.
 

Perhaps that is not the ideal state of being. The ideal state, as you said, and as the scriptures say, is to banish all doubts and to just have faith. Sometimes that is much easier said than done, and our purpose is to work through our doubts and struggles and to strive for that ideal. The concept that I was trying to get to when corralling everyone's opinions, is that ultimately we have a God who loves us and a Savior who died for us, and when we start with that foundation, we can move forward from there despite whatever doubts or struggles may plague us. I've always seen a testimony as a wave, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes we are so absolutely sure and secure in the Gospel. Other times it is more difficult, to use a familiar metaphor, to see the iron rod for the mists of darkness. We work to keep our testimonies at that strong and secure level, but it's not always possible, and sometimes we falter.
 

One of my goals in teaching is to try to let people know that they are not alone and that they are welcome even though their knowledge and trust in God or the Gospel is not absolutely sure.
 

I believe you left before the end of the class, thought I may be wrong. If you did, then you did not see how it all wrapped up with my thoughts on trusting in the Savior in times of hardship, and how in the end all things, the good and the bad, will help us to become more like Him and will work for our good (D&C 98:3, Romans 8:28, D&C 90:24).

 

I read something about doubt and faith a couple of days after that lesson that really resonated with me, and that I wish I had read before the class, if I had had any idea the class would take the direction it did:
 

"We also need to stop thinking of doubt and faith as diametrically opposed to each other. I believe that doubt and faith are opposed in the same way our thumb is opposed to our fingers; they work together, testing and trying each other, pushing faith to seek a witness beyond itself, to become humble, and to find that there are answers not yet considered. We must teach how to process through the complexity and to see the beauty in the nuance."
 

 

That's not from scripture, or a current leader of the Church, but from another faithful member of the Church who also struggles now and again with doubts.
 

 

It's heartening to know that doubt holds no place in your heart and mind, but I cannot say the same. Yet I am faithful. I have faith and continue to do my best to turn to God when I do feel doubt. I admit, I am not perfect and sometimes doubts can be at the forefront of my mind. But I continue to come to church and serve my brothers and sisters because that's what I feel called to do.
 

I was thrilled with the discussion that we had on Sunday and think it does point out the varying levels of testimony, belief and knowledge that people in our ward hold. I was told by many people after that class that they appreciated the discussion, and I think for some people, knowing that they're not the only ones who don't know with an absolute certainty, is comforting. It means there's a place in the Church for them even if they are new, or if they struggle. Sometimes as a body of members, we can present ourselves as a monolith of certainty, and that can lead people who struggle to think that there's no place for them here.
 

I hope that even if you and I sometimes disagree on some of the finer points, that you will continue to offer up your comments, because I truly believe that our faith can be strengthened when our assumptions are challenged. Mulling over the idea of faith and doubt over the past week, which I have been doing as well, has helped me to explore my feelings about it. Honestly, I don't think our perspectives are so very different. I also believe that it is important to have faith, and I believe that it is important to work through doubts with faith. I think we can both agree with Elder Holland's talk from the last conference: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/lord-i-believe?lang=eng#5-10785_000_51holland, particularly his mention of the scripture in Mark: "Lord I believe; help thou mine unbelief."
 

 

Best,

 

 

Saturday morning, I had this response from him:

 

 

How about if explained this way...?

 

Faith and doubt are opposite attitudes in an approach. It is not possible to respond to something with faith and doubt simultaneously. Faith and doubt produce two different outcomes in the same circumstances. Lehi's sons quest for the brass plates in the BoM teaches this rather clearly.

 

Faith and doubt are equally accessible to us at any given moment, and in that light I agree they coexist. The same can be said of good and evil. But you can only choose one at any given time. You get to choose which attitude rules in your approach. You can even start by using one and then changing to the other before seeing the thing at hand through, but only one can work at a time.

 

I agree that if we measure the entirety of our lives that we would conclude that we have acted in doubt and in faith. Is that what you mean?

 

What struck me the most about this response is that he's trying so hard to reconcile our points of view.  He really is a nice guy, and I'm sure it's troubling to him that I just didn't absolutely agree with his initial email.  He's concerned because to a correlated Mormon it's probably very important that we see things the same way.

I haven't responded yet, but will probably write something like "Yes, that's a good way of looking at it" and be done with it.

When I sent him my initial response, it occurred to me that I didn't really care what happened next.  Unless he wanted to meet to discuss my wayward thinking, which would have been boring and not something I would be interested in at all.  But, really, the options are (1) we agree to disagree slightly (2) he feels the need to reconcile our points of view so that he can feel comfortable that there is no disagreement, which is kind of what he did in the email, and I'm not interested in continuing any sort of argument, so that's likely where we'll stay, or (3) he recommends that I get released, which seems a bit extreme for him, and also is not likely something our bishop would agree to, if for no other reason than we're short-staffed as it is, and there's no one to replace me.  Also, because Bishop likes me (though he is completely unaware of my issues with the Church, so maybe he would like me less if he knew that).

So this was a pretty mild (and extremely earnest) complaint.  I received a bit of a boost on Friday night, though, when I went to a party and a couple who had been in my class told me how great it was and that they were still talking about it.  I mentioned to them that I had gotten an email complaint about my faith and doubt comment, without telling them in any way who it was from, of course, and they were floored.  They assured me they enjoyed the class.  I suppose you can't please everyone, it's just too bad when the person you don't please is the bishopric member overseeing Sunday School who thinks it's then his responsibility to correct me.  Hopefully there won't be too much more of that.