Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Perspectives

Yesterday I had lunch with a Jewish friend of mine and as we discussed researching our own genealogies, she asked me about Holocaust victims having work done in the Mormon temple.  She was trying to be diplomatic about it, and I think I helped the conversation when I said, "As someone probably on her way out of the Mormon church, I can tell you I think it was really offensive." 

She pointed out to me that in the couple of years we've known each other I've never said that I was "on my way out."  I've talked with her a few times about my issues with the Church, in an explanatory fashion, because I've never been a typical Mormon and she personally has a couple of reasons to be offended by things the institutional Church has done.

She said, "You've never said it like that before.  And I'm sorry, my friend."

Because she recognized that it is a loss, and it is sad, even though it's also freeing and positive.  That meant a lot to me.

We continued to talk about the Holocaust victims issue and before I could say it, she said, "On the one hand, I am upset by it.  On the other hand, if you think that you're saving people, I can understand why they would do it."

First of all, how charitable of her to recognize that the motivations behind that incident may not have been solely based in pride, but also in love for what Mormons see as their spiritual brothers and sisters.

This is also my perspective of Mormons in general.  I think there are motivations at the institutional level that may not be as pure, but I think in most wards, when they talk about and push missionary work, they're talking about saving souls.  One of the reasons I am reticent to be up front with too many people about how I feel about the Church is because ultimately I know it will make them sad, and wonder what they could have done.

To which I would want to say, Really, everyone, I'm fine.  I promise.

Which is why I'm mostly quiet about it.  Maybe my comfort with being quiet and being affiliated with the Church will change, but for now, I'm okay with serving and not making a big deal about how I feel.

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